22 February 2013

Why I think the BRITs '13 was POOP

So the BRITs happened on Wednesday night.  Maybe you heard of it, it's only one of the biggest events there is in terms of music award shows, you know, no big deal.  I'd been looking forward to it for a good few weeks, and to say I was underwhelmed at half past ten on Wednesday night, would be an understatement.  Here are my reasons why:

The fashion (or lack of):
What. The actual. F***?  It's pretty much a given that if you're walking the red carpet at the BRITs, money isn't really an issue to you.  And it wasn't, everyone wore designer, but it just goes to show it's not what you wear, but it's how you wear it.  Gemma Arterton wears it like she's a sixty year old going to a disco.  Lana Del Rey wears it like she's going to the office, a really, really dull office.  Corrine Rae Bailey wears it like she's conforming against irons, and Katherine Jenkins wears it like she feels she looks really high fashion in what she's got on, which just makes it look ten times worse.  GREAT JOB, ladies, WELL DONE, you really outshone yourselves.  I'm f***ing eighteen years old and could have done a better job if I had gone to Topshop with a £40 budget.  I'm not saying this to brag, I'm saying this to exaggerate my whole point.
I really just need to not think about these anymore.  If you're thinking "Well what about the people who did dress good?", THEY DIDN'T.  Not one.  You can argue how beautiful Taylor Swift looked all you want, but it was a long black dress, oh THE ORIGINALITY.  Come on people.  Aim a little higher.

The music:

Muse started off the show.  Great.  No sarcasm intended, I like a bit of Muse and I think Matt Bellamy has a sexy singing voice.  At this point I sat down with some chocolate, rubbing my hands together in anticipation of what exciting things were to come in the next couple of hours.  Boy, I didn't know shit.  Justin Timberlake?  Meh, okay, he's just brought a new song out, understandable why he's on stage, I don't really get the hype but whatever.  Oh, Robbie Williams, nah, not for me.  One Direction, just to remind us how awesome our generation's music taste is (sarcasm definitely intended this time).  Emili Sande?  Heard it all before, and then some.  Breath taking performance?  Nuh-uh.  She also mentioned in her thank you speech her loneliness.  You're right Emili, it must be really hard, although I'm sure I just saw you hug about six people around your table in celebration.  I don't even know six people.

The award:

I don't know who Damien Hirst is, and it took me a few weeks to realise that, no Dem, that ginger guy in Homeland isn't designing the award.  However he might as well have now, because polka dots aren't exactly, urm, creative, are they?  I know it's his 'singature motif' and I can completely see why he used it, but maybe next year we can hand out human size blown up inflatable awards to the winners.  That would be fun.

The lack of Rihanna:

The BRITs ain't nothing without Rihanna.  Clearly.  She was like 90% of the reason I was watching in the first place.

The host:

I have absolutely nothing against James Cordon but I like it when presenters aren't so scripted and are a bit silly, take Alan Carr, for example, I think he would have thrown a rude/sarcastic joke in about someone somewhere.

No eff ups:

That's what the BRITs is about, right?  The arguing, the showing of bums, the cutting off Adele's speeches, I mean come on, where's the controversy?  The chaos? 
I never thought I'd say this, but where the f*** is Kanye West when you need him? 

The good things about the BRITs 2013:

- Paloma Faith's outfit.  She looked very pretty and nice, not show stopping, but nice all the same.
- Dave Grohl.
- Ben Howard's voice.
- Uhhhhhhhh... Nope, that's all I've got.


  1. I couldn't agree more, I could have styled them better with a bin bag on my head ahah xx

  2. I agree so much! I mean how can LANA del ray win over rihanna?!! and the black keys( who ever they are) win over the killers? some awful nomanies!

    1. That's exactly what I said to my brother! 'Er, who are they?' I didn't know half of the people!

  3. I looooove Katherine Jenkins' dress. WAIT. I mean I WOULD have loved Katherine Jenkins' dress in 1996 when I was really into kray psychedelic patterns. And I was also eleven years old.

    Urgh, all the outfits are so fug. Even Lana. She can do SO much better.

    PS. The Black Keys are really very good.. ;)

    1. Haha! It's not only that either but it's got a massive puff at the back, really not flattering...
      I agree about Lana, she would have looked so much better in a gown.
      And that's also what my brother said! He was pleased when they won, I listen to Snow Patrol, Nickelback, oh, and Queen, so I'm really not an expert on music...

  4. ha ha ha i completely agree - it's a load of commercial shit that is no relevance to my life and without a good old bust up pointless to watch! xx

  5. Taylor Swift's and Lana Del Rey's outfits were the only decent outfits they looked beautiful didn't notice any other outfits pretty boring but OMIGOD who's the first one in the sequined red thing ? WTF is she wearing ?

    1. Noooo wayyy Lana's was one of the most boring outfits of the whole night?! It's just a black shirt dress, Chanel or not, it ain't good. Don't get me wrong, I'm a Lana fan, but all the more reason to expect more from her.
      That's Gemma Arterton, don't even get me started on that one!

  6. I agree - all the outfits were so boring this year!
    P.S.Damien Hurst is an artist who grew up in my hometown (Leeds) and he went to my high school. He's done some pretty weird art in the past and I find it gruesome myself and dislike it very much! His most famous pieces of 'art',I think, is a sheep and a shark. x

  7. The 1 & only reason the brits was the ultimate pits this year is as follows :-
    The rolling stones lost out to coldplay!! Wtf is that all about!??? How can chris martin (whos young enough to be mick or kieths son) be classed as a better live act then them??? The stones have probably played more live gigs then chris martins had hot dinners there is totally no comparison mick jagger is the worlds best front man ever